5

The Love For My Child

After having a blog comment conversation with Meg from Color Me Dazzled

I was inspired to write this next post to raise the following question to fellow parent bloggers:
1- How do you describe the love of a parent?
2- What does it feel like to be a parent?
3- How do you describe the journey of parenthood?
4- What lengths would you go to to protect your child?

I thought I would share my answers to these questions and I would love to hear other parents reflect on the same questions, when you go to answer them yourself I think you will find they are a lot more difficult than you think to answer

So here goes…..
1- How do you describe the love of a parent?
I simply can not answer this one with adjectives to describe the love I have for my son. There are no words strong enough to describe the love as a parent and to try and label it I feel would do the description and injustice!!
Quite simply it is a love like no other that is beyond words.

2- What does it feel like to be a parent?
Once again this is a difficult question to answer as its so personal and so objective. But I will try regardless. My life was always great pre-baby, loved my life with my partner, family and friends and felt my life was amazing.
Until 19 December 2011 came around and I held this little scrunched up screaming puffed up mini sumo wrestler in my arms and from that moment on I felt “complete”. It was like a piece of the jigsaw puzzle of my life was missing without me knowing and now it had been found.
So my answer for question 2 is being a mum makes me feel complete

3- How do you describe the journey of parenthood?
Amazing
Stressful
Learning curve
Exhausting
Entertaining
Scary and most importantly
Full of Love ❤❤

4- What lengths would you go to to protect your child?
Once again I can not answer this as I’ve not been put into a situation to require any brut strength but my previous posts I guess shows I will do whatever it takes to have a happy and healthy little man. So all I can say is that I’m a bit like a female grizzly bear and do not under estimate what I will do to protect my boy…..try me if you dare “roar” lol

So to conclude; there are no words, I’m now complete, it’s an enigmatic experience and I’m a grizzly bear

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15

And We Are Up And Away – Welcome to Toddler Town

So the day I thought would never arrive is finally here…in March 2013 (15 mo) Lachlan started to get really brave and started venturing un supported steps. Call me an awful mum but watching those early few days in walking is one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen. The elation on pride on his face as he takes those initial steps and then 3 or 4 only steps in BANG face plant! With the amount of falls this little climber takes I’m just grateful that he has learnt to put his arms out to protect his gorgeous little face from the fall.

Gradually over the next week he finally had a bit more coordination with his skinny spaghetti legs and I could officially call him a walker….welcome to toddler town mum ready or not! Watching Lachlan get more and more stable with his walking was a bit like watching his daddy when we first met going through the sobering up process after a big night out with the boys.
We went from blind drunk taking a couples steps then stacking it
Just drunk to taking a few more steps then launching onto a solid object to keep yourself propped up.
Then to just a bit tipsy where we were walking ok but occasionally get a bit of a stagger happening and to recover you just launch yourself into walking a different direction….ahhh the drunken stagger – now that’s a blast from the past lol

After about a fortnight of going through the ‘sobering up’ process Lachlan was a pro at this walking business that we decided to upgrade to RUNNING!! So we are up up and anyway running everywhere with his bendy little rubber spaghetti legs and his giant flipper feet going every which way lol with the stacks to a bare minimum.

Two revelations have happened now we are on the go
1- I thought I had toddler proofed the house, man was I seriously wrong and
2 – HOORAYYYYYY throughout the sobering up process and as he became more upright Lachlan’s vomiting was reducing down to about 3-5 times a day as opposed to 20ish.

A side note from today now he’s been upright and walking for a few months I’m absolutely delighted to say that his reflux vomiting has basically stopped completely. We have maybe 1 vomit a week which is excellent, however I’m not getting too far ahead of myself for his next specialist review in July as I’m well aware he still reflux coughs (yup it sounds different to a normal cough to a trained ear) and regurgitates quite a lot.

It’s amazing how quickly they grow up once they are upright. I officially have a gorgeous happy little toddler who loves nothing better than charging around wherever we are like he owns the place….my gorgeous little man, love him to bits!!

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7

2013 – The Reflux and Development Journey Continues

2013 started very well for us Lachlan’s weight was continuing on a healthy upwards trend, his eating was improving to eat more variety and a more balanced diet and most of his mood was vastly improving! We were definitely getting out happy cheeky boy back!

Developmentally he was travelling also very well, we had advanced from our crazy commando slug sliding to real crawling and of course he doesn’t do things by halves he crawls at lightening speed!! A bit like crawling he was also cruising along furniture at lightening speed – he could easily get up and walk any day now he just needed the confidence to do it, and don’t even start me on the climbing, he is a little climbing monkey!! He was goo’ing and gah’ing that turned into constant babble…. When this boy starts talking he’s not going to stop talking lol.

Vomiting wise sadly we were still showing no signs of improvement and still vomiting 20-30 times a day…damn you reflux will you NEVER go away!

So off we went to our next Paeds Gastro appointment….not knowing what to expect given he was just shy of 14 months and still excessively vomiting, would we have to have the nasal gastric tube again? Of once again off we went to WCH, at this stage I feel like we deserve a frequent flyers car park. The once again normal appointment routine – weigh in, check with dietician on his diet and then see the consultant.

The consultant is over the moon with his weight gain, his developmental improvements and his huge improvement in his demeanour. However we did get given some not so good news…because of the rate at which he was still vomiting and now the ‘delightful’ development of regurgitating we were advised that it was looking like we were heading towards reflux surgery /reflux banding. Given that he is gaining weight and we were doing well with managing things with his diet they wanted to wait until he had passed 18 months to give him a few more months to outgrow it and should we have to head down the surgery pathway he was a but older and stronger to cope with the surgery. So we were rescheduled to come back and see the consultant again in early July 2013 for his nect review. As always he was to remain under our constant supervision and should his weight start going backwards again then back to emergency we come again.

Hmmppfftttt not more surgery!! Hasn’t my gorgeous little monkey has already been through enough in his short life time. Not guaranteed to have to have surgery but at least between now and July I can prepare myself that this may well occur.

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0

A New Years Eve / New Years to Remember

So I’m back to my normal sequence of posts playing catch up on my journey so far. Lets resume that we have just had Christmas 2012

New Years Eve had come around so quickly; and reflecting on everything that has happened over the last 12 months has been pretty huge! It was such a challenging year delving into the world of parenthood for the first time and having to over come all of the previous posted about hurdles along the way! Of course not forgetting to mention all the joy and good times that we have also shared.

And the best news is this year we were going to celebrate NYE as a family unlike the disaster that we had last year!

A New Years Eve / New Years to Forget.</

We are looking forward to continuing this parenthood game into 2013 whatever obstacles and hurdles you want to throw at us world, we as a strong and united little family will overcome together with love!!

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12

A Super Tired Toddler

Well I didn’t want to write any posts out of sequence but something that has just happened tonight that is too crazy, abnormal and cute that I had to share!! And I will go back to catch up next post.

At 6.50 tonight, 10 minutes before bed time I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and Lachlan when charging off from the lounge down the hallway (which the only open room was his bedroom) and then it went quiet…as most people with toddlers know that quiet usually equals mischief or trouble!
I went to investigate and found Lachlan climbing into his toddler bed – then he sat up and was trying to pull his blankets up…lol what the!?!?!? I have never heard of a 17mo putting himself to bed and tucking himself in…..
I then put him in his sleeping bag and tucked him in properly and said good night.

I went to check on him about 5 minutes after and he was fast asleep and I don’t think he had even moved an eyelash!
What a little champion!!

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4

A Reflux Christmas

Well the adventures of Lachlan’s first birthday party had past and his actual birthday was upon on. I was devastated that both Jamie and I were going to be at work for the day and that Lachlan would spend his first birthday in day care….then I realised he loves it there and has fun there with all his little buddies so what a better way to spend the day.  This photo was taken on Wednesday 19 December 2012, on Lachlan’s actual birthday before he was going to day care.

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Now if you have been reading my other posts and pay close attention to this picture we may pick up something different about Lachlan here.  He does not have his Nasal Gastric Tube in for overnight feeding.  You might think WOW that is awesome, he finally has had it removed he must be on the improve.  Well I really do wish that was the case, however the reality of what happened was that the day before Lachlan and I went into my work for a visit and driving back home little mister cheeky pants decided that he had enough of that damn NGT and one big yank and all the tap of his face came loose and he ripped the whole thing out of his face.  I turned to check on him at the red traffic light and I nearly had heart failure to see him swinging the tube around having a fun time with it.

Once we got home I rang the WCH to find out what to do.   We scheduled for our next follow up outpatients appointment on the Monday 24th December anyway so they suggested to just leave the NGT out for a couple of days, which was also a good assessment of what would happen to his weight without the overnight feeds) and at the next appointment with the Paediatric Gastroenterologist we could re-assess if after 2 long months of having the NGT in if we would continue.

Off we go on Christmas Eve to brave the madness of the road to head to the hospital for out outpatients appointment, the normal routine of weigh in etc with the nurses and then we go see the consultant.  At this stage Lachlan had put on about 600g since being discharged from hospital – it was so very exciting seeing some improvements in his weight.  However we were still continuing the day time vomiting and the new trend of the massive bed drenching overnight vomits.  The doctor reviewed that in the 6 days that Lachlan did not have the NGT tube in (after monkey pants ripped it out) he had not lost any weight – he had in fact gained another 50g over that period and with the NGT in the overnight vomiting had also stopped.  The Gastro concluded that his stomach was no longer tolerating such large doses of formula in the overnight feed and that is what was causing the excessive vomiting and because he had not lost any weight, and in fact gained weight, without the tube in, we were going to go between now and the next appointment with no NGT and reassess early in the new year, however if without the NGT if he had any dramatic weight losses we were to pack our pack and head back into to emergency again. And of course to continue the normal recording of his food intake and also record and monitor the vomiting STILL.

I did a small and silent celebration that the NGT was being removed!  After  2 months of constant sterilizing all the equipment and setting up the pump every night and 2 middle of the night change overs of milk it is safe to say I was ready for a break from the pump.  I did not get too excited as it was still not discounted that it wouldn’t have to go back if we started dropping weight again. 

That night we had our own little Christmas celebration with Jamie, Lachlan and I (as Jamie had to start work at 5am on Christmas morning) it was the one time we were together to celebrate, and we actually had a reason to celebrate, we had a mini break and the NGT wasn’t coming back, at least for a while

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The next day was Xmas day and it was like Santa delivered a little Christmas miracle to my little miracle baby.  Santa has delivered me a change in Lachlan’s mood!! I don’t know what happened during the sleep that he had that night but he woke up like a changed baby.  He was nowhere near as grizzly and irritable as he had been for the 3-4 months prior and this beautiful happy cheeky inquisitive little baby that we had known before his reflux flared up was back.  My boy was back!! Admittedly he was still leaving a trail of vomit behind him after any food or drink, but that was emotionally and physically a lot easier to deal with when his demeanour was a lot happier.

Lachlan and I spent Christmas day at my sister’s house with our parents and my nephew Max, it was so good to see the boys interactive and playing together and having fun.  It is amazing the bond these two little boys have given that they don’t spend as much time together as I would like. It’s like they know they are related and they just unconditionally love each other

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It was such a lovely day and it was such a relief after such a stressful few months to sit back and relax and watch my little elf have such a fun day.

 

Jamie joined us at my sister’s house once he had finished work to have a gorgeous family photo taken.  Words cannot express enough how much love I have for these two men in my life!! I am so grateful everyday to be surrounded by such strong, amazing men – I’m one proud partner and mummy!

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1

HOORAY….Happy First Birthday

So we made it!! It was time to celebrate the journey that we had been through for the last 12 months and celebrate the 1st birthday of our gorgeous brave and cheeky little man. 

It was party time!! We wanted to celebrate making it through the first year as new parent and celebrate and be grateful for all the joy Lachlan has brought us over the last 12 months.  Me being me when completely over the top and spent months planning and organising the party – I’m a born party planner and love nothing more than organising a great catch up for friends and family with some good food and drink. It was going to be a Giggle and Hoot extravaganza for my little Hoot-addict.

The day came around and needless to say I was not so excited. I had a mountain of things to do to get everything ready and I was exhausted as Lachlan’s reflux had flared up again very severely. 

Over the previous week he had taken to reducing his vomits during the day and instead  started chronically vomit while he was in his cot….and when I say vomit I mean drench his entire cot from one end to the other in vomit multiple times during the night – which resulted in entire bedding changes right down to the mattress protector having to bath Lachlan and then re-dress, re-settle him, put him back into bed (or course after I had remade it all) and then reset up his NGT to start feeding again once he had settled.  The worse night was the night before his party I had to go through this process 5 times in 1 night and that night I ended up having to use a single bed sheet as I had used every bit of cot linen that I owned.  This was not ideal, I was exhausted especially since I was back at work also and funnily enough I couldn’t have an afternoon nap at work like I could at home lol.

Did I mention how exhausting reflux is and how much washing it creates!!

Anyway, I put my exhaustion aside and powered through as my little man, who was cranky as a grizzly bear being woken up in winter on the day, deserved to have a special first birthday party. 

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I was upset that he still had to have the NGT in for his party initially but then I realised that at least it is an accurate depiction of the first 12 months of his life – this is who my little man is, reflux, NGT and all.

I have always loved the idea of a Smash Cake photo shoot and always wanted to get one done for Lachlan, well with us not having that sort of cash floating around for something so trivial and having a lot of cake left over I decided why not at the end of his party let him go to town on one of the cakes and have my own little smash cake photo shoot.  So I sat him on one of the plastic table clothes and drapped it over a turned over trestle table and had the rest of the plastic table cloth up as a “background”.  This is the outcome of our home smash cake shoot at his birthday party.

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It was such a lovely day, despite the grumpy baby, severe exhaustion and it was great to be surrounding by friends and family to celebrate the first joyous 12 months with our little miracle!

I can guarantee his 2nd birthday party will be nowhere near as big as this event!!!